Scott's Blog

Jesus be with you

Forgiveness struggle

How to get forgiveness. How to know I am forgiven. It is impossible.

I know that my problem is sin. I know I turned from the one I love, Jesus, because I feel the lack of warmth from being close to Him. I feel the lack of direction just great lack over all.

How do I get forgiveness? What can I doooo….?

Nothing.

absolutely nothing.

I can’t even come up with an answer. ‘Jesus what is your answer?’

(Matt 4:17) From that time Jesus began to preach, and to say, Repent: for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.

(Matt 6:12) And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.

(Isa 1:15) And when you spread forth your hands, I will hide my eyes from you: yea, when you make many prayers, I will not hear: your hands are full of blood.
(Isa 1:16) Wash you, make yourself clean; put away the evil of your doings from before my eyes; cease to do evil;
(Isa 1:17) Learn to do good; seek justice, relieve the oppressed, judge the fatherless, plead for the widow.
(Isa 1:18) Come now, and let us reason together, says the LORD: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.
(Isa 1:19) If you are willing and obedient, you shall eat the good of the land:
(Isa 1:20) But if you refuse and rebel, you shall be devoured with the sword: for the mouth of the LORD has spoken it.

Can the bible be used as an answer key to the tests of life? – Oh yeah.
The best part is when the Holy Spirit is behind the words causing them to prick at my spirit.

Answers are OK but loving answers when you know the love behind the answers are better.
This is how the Holy Spirit leads me through the Bible. I read something and something sticks out. It could be a word and idea a passage just something. It might be an idea like read more verses here or look at a cross reference or find the Greek meaning of that word or look that up in an English thesaurus. And then it leads to more accurate information.

I really don’t think God speaks English. I know that He knows English but His native language is more the language that people used before babel. And His language is far above and beyond that. God’s language created the stars…
‘OK I can let myself be forgiven. I have suffered enough for my sins.’ is such a stupid human thought that I fall victim to too often.

Jesus already suffered for all my sins. I’m not in any way saying not to make amends. Who I have hurt I need to repay. If I have stolen I need to reimburse.
My wife often tells me I think too much. She is so right not because reason is bad but because ego-reason gets no where. It is an affront to God’s wisdom. It is often insecure driven. I must prove I know everything because inside I know that I am a big dummy and am standing on the precipice of insane stupidity.

It’s just about being honest. ‘Father, I am sorry I thought I could do anything without you. I am sorry or being arrogant and prideful. I miss you too much. Please forgive me and take me back into your will where I am safe and protected. I need you.’
(Luke 6:35) But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing in return; and your reward shall be great, and you shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil.

(Luke 6:36) Be you therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful.

(Luke 6:37) Judge not, and you shall not be judged: condemn not, and you shall not be condemned: forgive, and you shall be forgiven:
(Luke 17:3) Take heed to yourselves: If your brother trespasses against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him.

(Luke 17:4) And if he trespasses against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turns again to you, saying, I repent; you shall forgive him.

(Mark 11:25) And when you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against any: that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.
(Mark 11:26) But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father who is in heaven forgive your trespasses.

I want to concentrate on forgiving seven times (Luke 17:4). What person do you know ever does this? I know I like to forgive the same mistake twice but then I say on the third strike ‘you are out’ In fact we don’t like to be considered door mats, do we?

Jesus heals:
(Luke 17:12) And as he entered into a certain village, there met him ten men that were lepers, who stood afar off:
(Luke 17:13) And they lifted up their voices, and said, Jesus, Teacher, have mercy on us.
(Luke 17:14) And when he saw them, he said unto them, Go show yourselves unto the priests. And it came to pass, that, as they went, they were cleansed.
(Luke 17:15) And one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, and with a loud voice glorified God,
(Luke 17:16) And fell down on his face at his feet, giving him thanks: and he was a Samaritan.
(Luke 17:17) And Jesus answering said, Were there not ten cleansed? but where are the nine?
(Luke 17:18) There was not found one that returned to give glory to God, except this stranger.
(Luke 17:19) And he said unto him, Arise, go your way: your faith has made you whole.

Leprosy is unclean.
When they obeyed Jesus … they were cleansed.

Then thank Him.
your faith has made you whole.

Faith to know you can turn repent and be forgiven by Jesus. How can anyone know this. While they are sinning they are without faith and without ‘knowing’

They can not. And yet Jesus knows and He conveys this knowledge to the ignorant.
This is a great miracle. That He can speak in English to a moronic people whom He loves. I don’t know why I just know He does.
I know people deserve more dignity because God says they do. But compared to God we are all so dirty and so horribly lost and helpless it’s ridiculous. (I’m talking even after being made perfectly clean by declaring belief and faith in Jesus now.) We still are a long way away from being Holy as God is Holy.

One thing I know. I can not live with out God more and more in my life. I think He is revealing just how scary it is to try.
(Luke 17:21) Neither shall they say, Lo here! or, lo there! for, behold, the kingdom of God is within you.

The other thing I know is that I need repentance every day. The more I think I don’t or the more I want to avoid the subject all together the more I really need a deep cleansing.
Deep cleansing just means taking enough time with God for Him to straiten out my thinking more to get me back on track where He had me before I went astray.
My wife calls this praying through I think. It is sensing the enmity with God disappearing. And not to emphasize feeling too much, It is knowing He forgives. Putting my heart mind and eyes back where they belong on Jesus.
God doesn’t keep secrets and He doesn’t make it hard. People make it complicated and the devil wants to distract and confuse us as much as we will let him.
The devil really has no power and is nothing for Christians to fear.
people who don’t believe in the devil ought to fear their own blindness and the consequences of falling in ditches. Christians must be good Samaritans physically and spiritually. Who do I know who is in a ditch of understanding and needs some light shed.

Not to pronounce something because I know better about their lives. I don’t even know what’s good for my own life. I Have To Ask God. How much more especially so that I don’t judge and do forgive do I need to have Jesus’ direction to give someone else a ‘word’ or to help them out of a ditch?


(Luke 17:15) And one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, and with a loud voice glorified God,
(Luke 17:16) And fell down on his face at his feet, giving him thanks: and he was a Samaritan.

He glorified God with a mighty, large, great, loud voice

Summary:
I didn’t do it and couldn’t do it. I am at my limit by forgiving someone 3 times in one day.
I don’t expect any less acceptance of me from God when I am that stubborn and rebellious.
And yet He does forgive me millions of times.
He does.
I can’t and He does.
It’s not about trying until I get frustrated and finally letting it go to God, although that is often how it works. But it is about doing things I would not have even attempted or dreamed were possible for me at all because I am letting it go to God.

It is a dance. I am not the leader. God leads. I dance with Him. ‘Father help me not be fooled into thinking I am the leader or that I am doing anything without you because I am dancing with you. Or after the dance – which I hope to decrease time with, that I was responsible or somehow caused the dancing to be so good. That I am a good dancer now. No no. I am no more able to participate with you then my leg is able to move without me. Might I need other people so much also?

Help me to love people in such a good way as you do without letting them become gods to me. Without me deciding that they are more important than you. This is a very serious problem especially for me. Help me Jesus destroy this idol.

Another thing that I fall prey too is boasting. Just yesterday I was thinking how silly it is for people to just go around doing what they feel like. If I’m hungry I’ll grab a burger or whatever i feel like eating in particular. How spoiled are we? The point was in my judgement of other people doing this, I fell into the trap of it myself. I forgot to consult God first and thought that God would be OK about eating a burger. This is a big mistake.

‘Jesus help me not to delight in judging others but to delight in you and your commands.’

(Gal 6:1) Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in the spirit of meekness; considering yourself, lest you also be tempted.
(Gal 6:2) Bear you one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
Look at my own willingness to know i am wrong. If I am offended by correction something is wrong with my attitude. I need a humble attitude.

(Jude 1:20) But you, beloved, building up yourselves in your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Spirit,
(Jude 1:21) Keep yourselves in the love of God, looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life.
(Jude 1:22) And on some have compassion, making a difference:
(Jude 1:23) And others save with fear, pulling them out of the fire; hating even the garment spotted by the flesh.
(Jude 1:24) Now unto him who is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy,
(Jude 1:25) To the only wise God our Savior, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and forever. Amen.

My father once told me that he had a sin that he never felt forgiven for. I have had seasons and periods of time when I did not feel worthy of Jesus’ forgiveness for things that I have done. So I could understand the feeling my dad was talking about. But what if I never moved from the lack of faith in Jesus’ forgiveness to acceptance?
I would drift into a place on earth that daily resembled more of hell. Instead of having His kingdom come right now this moment today on earth inside me.
(Luke 17:21) Neither shall they say, Lo here! or, lo there! for, behold, the kingdom of God is within you.

So much for concise summaries. It is not something I am good at. Writing either. I am good at analysis. Only because Jesus is good at it in me. It is a talent only because He planted it there a long time ago. I remember my mother telling me a saying, ‘a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.’ I could not figure it out for the longest time and I kept asking her about it but she kept saying, ‘figure it out for yourself’ She gave me the opportunity for a great gift. I asked God to help me figure it out and I have kept asking Him since then to figure stuff out and to answer questions. And it turns out He likes people asking Him stuff. He likes it a lot. I think every one of our questions is stupid to Him. But He doesn’t mind. He seems more interested just that we are talking to Him, even if we are goo-goo- gaga-ing.

cross-crown

OK just one more thing.  Why are people not bothered by the most horrible scenes in a horror movie but are bothered by relatively mild violence on the cross?

Who really says, ‘yay lets crucify Him again.’  I guess that is what I do when I sin.  So the answer to my question is that I am the one who is saying ‘let me crucify Him again’  when I sin and disobey Him.

‘I am sorry.’

Do I feel like Peter on the shore after denying Jesus three times and then being asked by Him if I love Him?  ‘Jesus, you know I love you.’

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