This makes it difficult to read the bible. Whenever I read it, it challenges my status quo.

Pure and Holy Jesus defeats death. Looking toward Him is frightening only because I am far from pure. Purify me Jesus.

It is not my fault that I get corrupted by the world but I shouldn’t seek world corruption. I get washed by His water and blood.

Why is my mind so opposed to change? Is it lazy?

There is a hardwire to maintain consistency. This has a purpose for faithfulness and to maintain good habits.
Once I identify bad habits that I want to change it requires impossible effort to change. This is where Jesus guides and strengthens me through the process.

JESUS, When I am unwilling to face Your Holiness, hold me.

People say they want to experience God but when they feel His pure love knocking at the door they cower in fear.

This happens to me when I’m acting self righteously and when I am outright sinning. Darkness fears the light.

Jesus is my protection and He scares me. His Holiness requires growth. Perhaps not all immediately but ongoing and everlasting.

The journey doesn’t end and I don’t want it to.

“For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed. But he who does the truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be clearly seen, that they have been done in God.”
John 3:20‭-‬21 NKJV

Picture from http://getupwithgod.com/prayer/sunday-prayer-39/