I wanted to name this article ‘how to get your money back’  to attract readers but that would be misleading.

Prayer: ‘God, I forgive everyone who ever left me.
I no longer have to be the first to leave.

You never leave me.’


The 10 commandments are more than human words:

Let me see if I can show it.

I look at the commandment not to kill. (Deut 5:17 (KJ2000) ” 17 You shall not kill. ” )
Also found in Exod 20:13 (KJ2000) ” 13 You shall not kill. ”

Now listen to how Jesus expands this to include not being angry without cause, saying someone is worthless, and calling them stupid to their face.

Matt 5:22 (KJ2000) ” 22 But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, You fool, shall be in danger of hell fire. ”


The supernatural word behind the words “Do not murder.” are that people experience murder when I call them names that put them down. I probably shouldn’t call myself names either. I am sorry if seeing my own stupidity is equal to calling myself a demeaning name. I am brilliant in Jesus.



God’s love is too big for my brain. In order for Him to do supernatural things in me I have to believe beyond human reason.

Just listen. This is not mind inhibiting it is mind enhancing. A person can not ever change their mind except for something above reason making it possible. This is not checking your mind at the door it is admitting that despite the good things the mind can do it is fallible. For example I just gave a great speech about why strawberry ice cream is better. But now I feel like some chocolate. I might be able to come up with just as good an argument for chocolate.


God’s love involves all of my human reasoning and encourages me to extend into His wisdom. His infinite ability to reason can become more and more possible by having a relationship with Him. I’ll never forget what my mom told me when I took the IQ test. She said that it only measures a person’s ability to do well in school so don’t feel bad if its low and don’t think too highly of yourself if it is high. She is a reasonable person. Obviously just by reading a few sentences I am not the brightest bulb as far as intelligence goes.
Sometimes people think I am so unaware that they can manipulate me or treat me poorly.
But Jesus. I forgive them by Your strength.

‘God, I see the beauty in me who You created only when You are in me. Only when You speak through me and only when You act through me.’

There is a beauty there. Like looking at a hungry starving child. I feel sorry for them but I see a beauty in them and in everyone that is like a spark of life.


The interesting thing I saw when looking at the Decalogue today was the length of verses 2 – 11 where God is talking about not having false gods and having sincere and honorable speech

compared to the ones about my relationship with people verses 12 – 17

even number wise that is 9 verses for God and 5 for people.



One final note. Honorable speech is important because God can not talk to me when all my mind speaks is curse words. It is important to our relationship for me to have clean speech. I would like to mention speaking in tongues here but it includes finding the deeper meaning in the words I currently use. I think the murder example that Jesus talks about is a good example. I can not be calling people names that are derogatory and expect that God can tell me how beautiful they are.


I want to end on forgiveness. First I must admit that meditating on the Cross of Christ has given me some understanding about forgiveness. A tiny small fragment of understanding of it. I have not had to forgive a lot and I’m glad because I am not the best at it.

But what I learned lately is that forgiveness happens by cooperation between me and God. He can not forgive me if I don’t forgive. And I can not forgive if I don’t first get forgiven from Him. This sounds very paradoxical so I would like to explain it like a dance. He forgives me and I believe it. This allows me to forgive everyone who ever does me wrong.
Sometimes I do not want to forgive and it is hard and it certainly is not fair. But then I return to His cross. The place where Jesus decided to give all to forgive me. To reconcile me to God and Himself.
And even though it is incredibly unfair I see how small the thing I am asked to forgive compared to all the horrible things I have done and continue to do which in essence are hammering the nails into His wrists.


It is emotional only because I feel God’s love in it.
It is not an act of my will. It is an act of being willing to stand up, grab His body and dance with Him a beautiful dance called ‘I have been forgiven so I will forgive you.’
Part of the dance includes me not leading. Not even using my own feet but dancing on His. He is so much more gentle than I can imagine.

People would yell at each other, “Do this!” because it is the right thing to do. Jesus is not like people in this way.  He does it all for me. He does it first in the biggest way possible so that I can continue to offer His gift to everyone by His ability not my own.


The more I see myself, the more I realize I am quite insane. With Jesus I am fine. But I wouldn’t blame anyone for calling me insane and i wouldn’t try too hard to disagree. The thing is Jesus is coming for you too. One day, hopefully, you will look insane too to blind eyes and begin to see what the light reveals. Oh what a beautiful sight we can share of a savior in love with us all.


One final note about how God connected with me on this subject. I probably talked about how I lent two people money who never repaid me. It really bothered me for some time until I came to really forgive the debt.


It meant I no longer obsessed about what I should do to get it back. Should I say something or not. How can I rip them off to make up for it?  All sorts of demented ideas that only proved that I needed to forgive the debt in my heart of hearts and really let it go.

It wasn’t fair.  Jesus on the cross wasn’t fair either.