Rom 12:2-3 (KJ2000) ” 2 And be not conformed to this world: but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. 3 For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God has dealt to every man the measure of faith.”

I don’t think I’m better than God. I know it. It isn’t contrived or planned. It is a thought that slips in behind the scenes.

‘Father, please. keep rooting this out. I know you are good and far superior in my mind Let it sink deeper down into my spirit through my heart.’
It makes me happy to know that no matter what happens God will win. God is not insecure and He is not weak and He will not be defeated. I might think I am winning but it is a battle I can not win.

Sure Jacob prevailed but what really happened? God made him come around to the honest and appropriate way of being with the Almighty God and maker of the universe.

Gen 32:28 (KJ2000) ” 28 And he said, Your name shall be called no more Jacob, but Israel: for as a prince have you power with God and with men, and have prevailed. ”

Word for prevailed also means able. Israel is able because of Jesus. It is only through the one who is worthy to be praised that anything moves at all.
“H3201H3201 יָכוֹל יָכוֹל yakol (yaw-kole’) (or (fuller) yakowl {yaw-kole’}) v.
1. to be able
2. (literally) can, could
3. (morally) may, might
[a primitive root]
KJV: be able, any at all (ways), attain, can (away with, (-not)), could, endure, might, overcome, have power, prevail, still, suffer.” (Mickelson’s Enhanced Strong’s Greek and Hebrew Dictionaries)

‘God, I am struggling with hearing you say hard things. It was a criteria of mine to know it was you if what you said was gentle. Help me not be afraid to accept your conviction and reproof.”

Heb 12:5-6 (KJ2000) ” 5 And you have forgotten the exhortation which speaks unto you as unto children, My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when you are rebuked of him: 6 For whom the Lord loves he chastens, and scourges every son whom he receives.”

I want to present a strong caution. It is not for me to become self righteous or to have licence to treat anyone without the utmost gentleness.  I must never look down on anyone.  This is bad pride otherwise known as arrogance.  When I was looking for an arrogant picture I learned that looking down is key to illustrating arrogance.

I like how after a chastening from God, He gives me some special lovin’.

After being told not to act like I know better than God, He revealed that He is taking care of me in ways I can’t even comprehend by anticipating my every need. He knows when I will be sad and when I will be happy and He gives me what I need ahead of time to deal with it. He knows my circumstances ahead of time.  He knows my thoughts ahead of time.  He is always there for me.

He also comforted me with, ‘I can’t ruin Jesus’ beauty only recognize it.’

Is God allowed to point out negative things? Yes. Whether I like it or not He is the judge and will judge me at the end.
How do I pass this test?
I can’t.

This seems like a cruel thing but there is a way out.
Jesus already passed the test and is willing to share the answers with everyone.
Once again I am called to humility. ‘Thank you Jesus. Keep taking my pride away I will always want less pride in order to be with you better.”