This was not an easy thing to realize. I am afraid to change my concept of Jesus. He is my friend and I know He loves me. But is there more to it? Why am I afraid that my concept is wrong?
What if my current conception of Him is safe, not challenging and designed so that i have the advantage in our relationship?

Eccl 11:5 (KJ2000) ” 5 As you know not what is the way of the wind, nor how the bones do grow in the womb of her that is with child: even so you know not the works of God who makes all. ”

I’m afraid the incorrect perception of Jesus is more hideously motivated.  I wanted to manipulate and control Him to keep Him at a distance and to convince Him to give me what I want without having to do what I don’t want.

Ecclesiastes 11:5 (NIV)

“5 As you do not know the path of the wind,
or how the body is formed[a] in a mother’s womb,
so you cannot understand the work of God,
the Maker of all things.”
Some translations say ‘you don’t know the way of the spirit.’

Eccl 11:5 (YLT) ” 5 As thou knowest not what is the way of the spirit, How–bones in the womb of the full one, So thou knowest not the work of God who maketh the whole. ”

I am gripped by sorrow. ‘Jesus I am sorry that I try to limit you when you are limitless.’
I feel like a deer in the headlights of a car shocked and frozen. I know better. My concept is good. I am right.
The truth is I am not right. Yesterday at work, I was wondering if everyone else knows I am mentally challenged and I am the only one who doesn’t realize it. It is a frightful thing to wake up:

Eph 5:12-14 (KJ2000) ” 12 For it is a shame even to speak of those things which are done of them in secret. 13 But all things that are reproved are made manifest by the light: for whatsoever does make manifest is light. 14 Therefore he says, Awake you that sleep, and arise from the dead, and Christ shall give you light.”

As I was looking for a ‘sleeper’ passage in the Bible, this verse came up:

Jonah 1:6-10 (KJ2000) ” 6 So the captain came to him, and said unto him, What mean you, O sleeper? arise, call upon your God, if so be that God will think upon us, that we perish not. 7 And they said every one to his fellow, Come, and let us cast lots, that we may know for whose cause this evil is upon us. So they cast lots, and the lot fell upon Jonah. 8 Then said they unto him, Tell us, we pray you, for whose cause this evil is upon us; What is your occupation? and from where come you? what is your country? and of what people are you? 9 And he said unto them, I am a Hebrew; and I fear the LORD, the God of heaven, who has made the sea and the dry land. 10 Then were the men exceedingly afraid, and said unto him, Why have you done this? For the men knew that he fled from the presence of the LORD, because he had told them.”

It seems like the men in this passage already knew Jonah was fleeing God. But they really got scared when he told them he was Jewish. Because they respected the Hebrew God and knew what He was capable of.

‘Father, let my familiarity with You not diminish the awesome respect I have for Your greatness.’

“The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.”
Zephaniah 3:17 NIV

I can not imagine the overwhelming love of God. I can not imagine what it takes to create the universe.

I didn’t even know that my concept of Jesus needed changing and continues to be quite wrong. I need Him.

‘Jesus, change me. Expand my thoughts toward you and guide me closer to You.’

Two people express some of what I am trying to say much better than me.
“We must keep in mind one thing: All I say about God is still not God, because theology at its finest moment, can do no more than tell us about God. To know about God and to know God are two absolutely different things. Most people confuse knowing about God with knowing God, and this, in my opinion, is at the core of many of our problems in the evangelical church today.
Let me say that if you ever know God, you are going to have to enter in by the new birth, by the illumination of the Holy Spirit, and by the revelation of the Spirit. There must be revelation and illumination. You have to have truth revealed to you, but until there is illumination of that truth, it does not do you any good. Only the Holy Spirit can make us know God. That is why when we speak of the Holy Spirit, we ought not to speak apologetically, and nobody ought to be ashamed to preach about the Holy Spirit or to be afraid to talk about Him, for the reason that only He can make us know.” – A.W. Tozer “Delighting in God” P.114

Brennan Manning: “Me Father is so very fond of me”  -Taken from “Healing our image of God and ourselves”

Whether Solomon was saved in the end we do not know, And yet God chose him to write parts of the Holy Scripture through him and for him to build the temple.
‘Father, help me not dismiss things You reveal through ‘unsaved’ people because You love everyone.’
Yes, I know to be careful but I don’t want to be overly critical of anyone. I expect people to give me a lot of leeway. ‘Jesus, Help me to give everyone the leeway I want them to give me.’