if I only want fame and fortune and personal greatness.

Standing on spiritual ground is scary because I can’t see the ground.
But oh how wonderful is knowing a savior who loves me as I am right now.

‘Father, help me let go of myself. My selfish ways, My selfish ambitions. The more I look at you the smaller I feel. Until I disappear and there is nothing left but you.’

You are not nothing. You are everything. You fill me up and you are my all in all.
As you become greater in me and I decrease, I am at peace. I am loved and I am truly fulfilled. Not by becoming egotistical but by becoming a dependant child. Truly free. That is why I wanted money anyway to be able to do anything I wanted. Now I have the power to do anything you want which satisfies me more than all the food and provisions of this world. Your Spirit satisfies. You are what I truly want and need. Help me to be rich in you and your treasures of love and kindness,
I tried to stand on the ground I see with my physical eyes and I only ended up falling down.
Jesus, let me walk on the water with you. Although it is scary and uncertain. It is more solid than anything I see. You gibraltarare a rock like no other – never deteriorating never moving – secure and sure.’

(Matt 21:42) Jesus said unto them, Did you never read in the scriptures, The stone which the builders rejected, the same has become the head of the corner: this is the Lord’s doing, and it is marvelous in our eyes?


This parable is disturbing…  I include it because it is the prelude to where Jesus is declared to be the corner stone.

(Matt 21:33) Hear another parable: There was a certain householder, who planted a vineyard, and hedged it round about, and dug a wine press in it, and built a tower, and let it out to tenants, and went into a far country:
(Matt 21:34) And when the time of the fruit drew near, he sent his servants to the tenants, that they might receive the fruits of it.
(Matt 21:35) And the tenants took his servants, and beat one, and killed another, and stoned another.
(Matt 21:36) Again, he sent other servants more than the first: and they did unto them likewise.
(Matt 21:37) But last of all he sent unto them his son, saying, They will respect my son.
(Matt 21:38) But when the tenants saw the son, they said among themselves, This is the heir; come, let us kill him, and let us seize his inheritance.
(Matt 21:39) And they caught him, and cast him out of the vineyard, and slew him.
(Matt 21:40) When the lord therefore of the vineyard comes, what will he do unto those tenants?

(Matt 21:41) They said unto him, He will miserably destroy those wicked men, and will let out his vineyard unto other tenants, who shall render him the fruits in their seasons.
(Matt 21:42) Jesus said unto them, Did you never read in the scriptures, The stone which the builders rejected, the same has become the head of the corner: this is the Lord’s doing, and it is marvelous in our eyes?
(Matt 21:43) Therefore I say unto you, The kingdom of God shall be taken from you, and given to a nation bringing forth the fruits thereof.
(Matt 21:44) And whosoever shall fall on this stone shall be broken: but on whomsoever it shall fall, it will grind him to powder.
It may mean that people are out to kill christians so that they can have what the christians have. If I am being more christlike. people ought to want to kill me.

This means there is more than just being a nice guy involved in being christian.

Like what?

harsh legalism? I don’t think so.
overly free universalism? – may it not be.

What then?
look at Jesus. They wanted to kill Him because He was honest. He said He was the Son of God because He was. The truth is not always welcomed. They stoned Stephen because He confessed that Jesus is the Son of God.

And because Stephen was honest:
(Acts 7:51) You stiff-necked and uncircumcised in heart and ears, you do always resist the Holy Spirit: as your fathers did, so do you.
(Acts 7:52) Which of the prophets have not your fathers persecuted? and they have slain them who showed before of the coming of the Just One; of whom you have been now the betrayers and murderers:
Acts 7:53) Who have received the law as delivered by angels, and have not kept it.
(Acts 7:54) When they heard these things, they were cut to the heart, and they gnashed on him with their teeth.
(Acts 7:55) But he, being full of the Holy Spirit, looked up steadfastly into heaven, and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing on the right hand of God,
(Acts 7:56) And said, Behold, I see the heavens opened, and the Son of man standing on the right hand of God.

It is not always pleasant to hear the truth. It hurts me to know how I have failed Him.
What reaction will I choose. Wanting to kill Him, or submitting to Him. Admitting He is right and I am wrong. It’s a hard choice, but an important one.

It explains why people want to kill it though. When the heart gets pricked – there will be anger.
sometimes the Holy Spirit reveals hard things and that’s ok. It is part of walking on the water. It will not make sense or be easy or always be liked. But it is the needed part.
(Matt 13:37) He answered and said unto them, He that sows the good seed is the Son of man;
(Matt 13:38) The field is the world; the good seed are the children of the kingdom; but the tares are the children of the wicked one;
(Matt 13:39) The enemy that sowed them is the devil; the harvest is the end of the world; and the reapers are the angels.
(Matt 13:40) As therefore the tares are gathered and burned in the fire; so shall it be in the end of this world.
(Matt 13:41) The Son of man shall send forth his angels, and they shall gather out of his kingdom all things that offend, and them which do iniquity;
(Matt 13:42) And shall cast them into a furnace of fire: there shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth.
(Matt 13:43) Then shall the righteous shine forth as the sun in the kingdom of their Father. Who has ears to hear, let him hear.
Isn’t complaining and murmuring also gnashing teeth against God. It is like God is saying. ‘If you want to gnash your teeth against me, you can do it for eternity.’
I’ll tell you what I think about the whole ‘can you lose salvation’ debate. Does it really matter if I believe I can or can’t loose my salvation. Yes the bible says make your salvation sure. But this could mean don’t stop working on it.
Isn’t it more important to keep my relationship with Jesus active and alive?

Couldn’t either belief mislead me away from the core? Let me see. If I can never lose my salvation then I can forget about Jesus and do my own thing. If I can lose it then I must be obsessed with earning and I never accept that He loves me freely and I become entangled in mistrust of a mean god.
What seems more problematic is that one passage from the bible gets blown out of proportion to what is obviously more important more central more mentione more explained then other thiings.

Like Love. Does Jesus love us?

Is love mentioned more explained more demonstrated more. Or is follow the rules the overriding factor?
This answer is obvious and I realize I am on shakey ground. I do not wish to diminish one single word written in the Bible. I would just like to hear the Spirit and go with Jesus who sometimes breaks the rules. Not as a rule but when the Spirit says so.
More often the Spirit breaks me. It is not even the rules that I am really concerned about. It is more that I am right. Let me save you the mystery – I am not right. Only Jesus is right.
In the passage about when Jesus mentions that David ate the showbread. Jesus further states:

(Matt 12:6) But I say unto you, That in this place is one greater than the temple.
Matt 12:7) But if you had known what this means, I will have mercy, and not sacrifice, you would not have condemned the guiltless.
(Matt 12:8) For the Son of man is Lord even of the sabbath day.
I can exalt the rules that Jesus gives me to where they become my god instead of partaking in the relationship with Him.
‘I am sorry for this Jesus. I need you – not the rules I made up in my head.’

Jesus is the rock. He is a spiritual rock and not one I see. I can see Him spiritually. But for the most part being with Him is like walking on the water. It seems impossible but when you try it it turns out to be more sturdy than any physical thing.

I think this is a huge problem for me and my society because we have become very material focused. Which is weird considering a lot of time is spent in ‘virtual reality’.

It is hard to live this way but it is the only way.

‘Jesus give me your grace to do it. I can not on my own.’
(Matt 14:26) And when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, It is a spirit; and they cried out for fear.
(Matt 14:27) But immediately Jesus spoke unto them, saying, Be of good cheer; it is I; be not afraid.
(Matt 14:28) And Peter answered him and said, Lord, if it be you, bid me come unto you on the water.
(Matt 14:29) And he said, Come. And when Peter came down out of the ship, he walked on the water, to go to Jesus.
(Matt 14:30) But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me.
(Matt 14:31) And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him, and said unto him, O you of little faith, why did you doubt?
I love this passage it has all the answers to my concerns:
Be of good cheer; it is I; be not afraid.
O you of little faith, why did you doubt?
It’s almost like Jesus knows we will doubt and yet He still says ‘Come!’

Perhaps Jesus knows something more than I do. If I decide to be of good cheer toward Him, I might learn a little more about who He is. I might learn who ‘it is I’ is. If I venture out on the spiritual water perhaps only there (where it seemed so scary) is where I find a place to not be afraid.


Jesus is the rock of my salvation